Evolution!!
As a followup to the previous writing “Evolution!”
We are taught to lie at a very early age. It happens in a subtle manner, in a way parents often don’t even comprehend. Innocent lies, white lies, small alterations of the truth. Don’t tell grandma her sweater looks awful…don’t tell your little brother Santa isn’t real…and a grand variety of such, in themselves, insignificant lies. Why we do this? Because the truth is hard to deal with sometimes, because it’s easier to tell a lie…and sometimes because its genuinely in another’s best interest to tell the lie. Regardless of these reasons however the precedence has been set. “People lie and I can too”
A recent development in the arena of lies has everything to do with an ever increasing awareness of biological(or evolutionary) principles. In particular there has arisen an obsession with the term Alpha, which is typically used in combination with Male. The Alpha Male is the leader of the pack, the boss of the group. The meanest, toughest son of a bitch within the social structure. (Not!) The Alpha is a leader but is not required to be of any real physical quality (anymore) Rather, such things as intelligence, creativity and emotional stability have become key concepts to the Alpha Male. After all, people are no longer guided primarily by physical power but by intellectual approaches to living life. You can be a bully in high school but that won’t get you to college, land you a good paying job and command authority over other more intelligent individuals. No, the Alpha is one who is confident and in control over his environment. As a consequence the role tends to shift from time to time, depending on the dynamic between individuals and the merging thereof.
Most men aren’t Alpha Males. In fact, in a group only one man can be the Alpha so it stands to reason that the majority of males in the group is by definition not in the Alpha position. We do, however, have an abundance of Assholes in any social structure. Assholes tend to be overly confident/arrogant and exude this endlessly. For sure, this attracts women. It is worthy to note however that three groups of women are, empirically, attracted to this type of male.
-Emotionally unavailable women
-Thrill seekers
-Women with little to no self esteem
In other words, Assholes attract a wonderful series of dysfunctional females. Mature women, women of quality, quickly see through the ruse of the Asshole, concluding that there is nothing valuable beneath the appearance of confidence. They penetrate the lie.
Why did this post start with an outline about lies? I’m getting to that. Most men are, as noted, not in the Alpha position. Body language tends to reflect this. Men typically don’t want that. In their opinion it shows a reduced quality of their being. So what do men do? They tell lies. They deliberately change their body language to express their confidence…which is basically absent if you are insecure to the degree that you wish to change yourself. They lie. And it’s okay to do that, so we have learned, because lies to our benefit are generally acceptable. Long term perspective is typically absent in this behavior because suppose you attract a woman and it turns into something a tad more meaningful…the woman will figure you out. She will penetrate the lie. (If you’re looking for sex only however, the method might work. Although it is beyond me why you would not in stead visit a prostitute…cheaper than three dates, I reckon, and less of a hassle)
The only decent way to enter a meaningful relationship is through honesty. It is the intrinsic fear that one isn’t good enough that ignites these particular lies outlined in this writing. The truth is that one does not, in fact, need to be an Alpha Male to attract a woman. Why? Because times have drastically, and I mean drastically, changed. Society has advanced. We have art, philosophy, science and an abundance of cultured things to be appreciative of. We have developed emotionally and intellectually beyond any subset of our evolutionary predecessors. We’re “smart” now…we don’t need to grunt and fart anymore to make a point…though one might still choose to fart for entertainment value. And not only this. The feministic movement occurred for a good reason in our recent past. Women were done with being commodities and aimed, in stead, to be seen as full human beings capable of the same degree of intellectualism and emotion.
What appeals to the woman is what appeals to the needs of the woman. A woman wants a stable man (confidence) who can stimulate her intellectually (smarts and an open mind) while being able to deal with the many emotional turmoils life has to offer to all individuals (emotional stability) A woman can and typically does make her own money, can and typically does protect her own boundaries, etc. Knight in shining armor meet Companion…he is taking over your shift.
Evolutionary Psychology argues that the mating procedure is based on neurological algorithms predefined through the series of evolutionary processes. In other words, a woman selects a strong man now because this man has always been favored genetically in the past. I do not believe this. I believe that these algorithms might exist and are guiding principles…but it would be a poor judgment of humanity overall. In stead, I think that mankind has proven over and over again that it is superb at one thing and one thing only: Selecting the appropriate response, at the appropriate time. This skill is, through necessity, subject to a fluent approach to life and the situations it has to offer. As needs have developed, rapidly in the last decades, responses will automatically follow depending on those needs.
Perhaps unexpectedly…that’s Evolution!!
This has been a longer entry than most. You will have to chew on this one for two and half weeks, in which I take my vacation to the sea. Comments are, however, as always appreciated and it is not beyond me to respond to them during my vacation. But in general, there will be no activity at this website until the 17th of August.